Being a Woman sucks.

I've been having an emotional breakdown for like a week. All I do is cry and I don't even know why. The littlest things set me off and I'm frustrated all the time. I don't mean to be the way I am lately and I try to control myself but I'm just angry. I don't know how to fix it.

Nothing to talk about

I really just don't know what to talk about. I mean I put my tree up last night but other than that there's nothing to talk about. Oh and I look super ugly today cause I woke up late and I'm tired. I look like someone punched me. GREAT!

Graduating

I'm so excited to be done with high school. I have about three and a half weeks left until I graduate. I'm kind of scared though because I'm gonna be on my own completely. The closer it gets the more excited and nervous I get. Part of me isn't ready to grow up. I feel like that means something. Like maybe I'm not ready? Hmm

Caleb

So I've got some exciting news! I'm going to sdopt my foster brother. I realize that with that comes a lot of resposobility and hard work but it's worth it. Some people think I'm stupid for doing it because I'm only 18 but I love him too much to let another family take him from me. He's 5 months old with blond hair and big bright blue eyes. I swear the only thing he does is smile. This summer I will be getting an apartment (because my parents are moving out of state) and I will work instead of going to college right away. I will still go to college eventually but it will have to wait until Caleb is a little older. I'm kind of nervouse to be a mom but at the same time I know I can do it. Not only do I love him more than anyone or anything else, but I've also been helping my mom raise kids since I was 7. This probably isn't the smartest decision I've ever made, but if I don't keep him I'll regret it for the rest of my life.

Shananagans

Being in high school is supposed to be about growing up and getting prepared for the real world. Yet, for some reason, people keep starting drama with me. Normally I would be the bigger person and just ignore them but in this case I can't do that. See this specific little girl is dragging my friends into it and I won't have that. She's a sophmore and should be mature enough to know there are boudries. You can't just send dirty text messages to other girls boyfriends and then run your mouth about them. That doesn't bother me so much because it wasn't my boyfriend. What bothers me is that she tried to blaime her mistake on me and then run her mouth about me. I'm trying my best to just ignore her immaturity but part of me really just wants to go off on her.

Something to talk about

I didn't know what to blog about so my boyfriend suggested I blog about us. So here it goes. I've known him practically my whole life but I never really noticed him before 2 months ago. (Don't tell him I said that) We've been together for 2 weeks and I have a good feeling about our relationship. He's not like other guys. He's a gentleman MOST of the time. I think what I like the most about him though is that I can be myself around him and I don't feel judged or weird. On the other hand it's only the begining. Things may change....but I hope not. (:

On the Bright Side

My trip to Alabama wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I mean it deffinantly sucked but I survived it. I think the whole being in the middle of no where and not being bothered by other people was really good. I almost felt trapped though because I knew I coundn't leave. Maybe that doesn't make any sense but I like being in control of my surroundings. If the trip had been a little shorter I totally would have loved it. On the bright side I got to see my Great Aunt who hasn't been doing to well and I didn't have to do my makeup for about 7 days. I guess i kind of enjoyed the break!

10 things I hate

I've made a list of things I hate. I realize thats kind of pathetic but I was bored. Anyway the list looks something like this.
1. Girls that are naturally pretty
2. Alabama....
3. My parents
4. Slow walkers
5. Bad drivers
6. My hair
7. People who smack their lips when they eat
8. Rich people
9. Loud people
10. Being cold
Obviously the list could go on forever but those are the top ten. I'm a complainer. I like to complain about the things that I hate and the things I don't understand. I feel like most people don't say how they feel about stuff. That bothers me. If you don't like something you should say it. Everyone should complain. And thats how I feel...

Thanksgiving...break?

So for Thanksgiving I have to go to Alabama. Of all places my parents picked Alabama. For nine days I won't have any phone service or internet or friends. Just me and my family. That would be okay if I had a normal family, but I don't. I have three sisters and two brothers. Four of them have mental dissabilities and are under the age of 10. The other one is 22 and has three kids. Her kids, her boyfriend, and her boyfriends son are all going with us. We will be staying with my great aunt in her tiny house and I'll probably end up sleeping on the floor. My Thanksgiving break will consist of playing the mommy role for my siblings and my sisters kids while all the other adults go have fun. We do this every year and every year I get stuck with the kids. I hate my life...

11.11.11

What's the big deal about today being 11.11.11? I'm confused as to why thats so significant. Nothing extraordinary is going to happen today. It's just another day. Stop updating your facebook to tell me what the date is. I already know. It's annoying. On the bright side though it's Friday!

Cheap hair dye

My head looks like the rainbow threw up on it. I dyed it a bright red last weekend and it looked good until the color started to fade and now its pink. It's also washing out so my roots are strawberry blonde and then it fades into a bright pink and the bottom is bright red. It's not cute.

THE FACE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8wRXa971Xw0

I've actually made this face at people and it really does work. Soliciters come to my house all the time and the only way to convince them we're not interested is by using the face. For some people the face doesn't work but thats because they're probably giggling or their face gets tired and they give up. You can't do that! You have to commit to the face even if it takes hours. It will eventually work and that person will never talk to you again. It's awesome!

The Story of My Life

The most embarrassing thing ever happend to me this morning. I was sitting on the bus and my water bottle leaked all over my pants and I didn't even notice it. By the time I got to school it looked like i peed my pants. It's extremely cold outside and wet clothes made it so much worse. Luckily though, my pants did dry by the end of second period and I don't think very many people noticed what had happend. This kind of stuff happens to me all the time. I have the worst luck ever. I occasionally trip over air or I spell the most obvious things wrong. It's so awesome....NOT!

Best Weekend Ever!

My weekend started off with a date with a really sweet guy. We went to the movies and then we went to a park where we took a walk and looked at the stars. On Saturday I went to a halloween party as Marilyn Monroe and was voted best costume (my prize was a nerf gun which isn't cool but it was fun anyway). On Sunday I went to another Halloween party for my church and watched several friends go at it in a rap battle (epic!!). Finally, on Monday (Halloween) my sister had her third baby at 3 pm and named him Kobryn Aleck Crawford. It was deffinantly an awesome weekend!!

Drama

I hate being stuck in the middle of someone elses drama. It's almost like thhey fight over me for my friendship but niether of them actually care if I'm their friend or not. It's all just a competition between them. They both go out of their way to to be extra nice to me and hang out with me and all of the sudden I'm their "best friend". Do they not realize how childish that game is? In the end I wont be friends with either of them. (Not that either of them care) But the worst part is that in a week they'll be perfectly fine and "love" each other again. I can't wait to be done with high school. The immaturity drives me crazy.

Walmarts?

I went to the hospital with my sister yesterday because she's pregnant and due any day now. As I was sitting in the waiting room I noticed this older woman in her pajamas and slippers talking to another woman about her grandson that was just born. Her country accent was driving me crazy. I could hardly understand what she was saying. When my sister came in the room to get me she noticed the woman in pajamas also and told her she liked her slippers. The woman responded with "Thanks! I got them at that there Walmarts!" What is a Walmarts? People are hilarious.

Homecoming Rules

So, the new rule at my school is that no one can "grind" at homecoming. I suppose that's a reasonable request but if we can't grind, why play music about grinding? It doesn't make sence to tell students that it's bad and then turn around and promote it by playing music about it for three hours. Also, keeping the lights on the whole night is completely unfair to those of us that don't "grind". Why not just kick certain people out? After all, we only get to experience high school once.